Victoria’s real Secret

Published May 8, 2013 by HomburgerNaeNae

So many young women and teenybopper girls walk around carrying all their stuff in those pink striped Victoria’s Secret bags instead of backpacks, as if they want to be something special. As if they want you to look at them and think, “she shops at VS, she must wear some fancy undies” and then proceed to try to not think about what lacy itchy crap they are doubtlessly wearing.

But what if Victoria’s Secret is really trying to get all those girls to carry their school papers around in underwear bags on purpose? What if VS is secretly owned by an interdimensional alien who is planning a great attack on this earth, during which his minions will swoop down and take away each and every teen girl who was ditzy enough to carry their everyday stuff in the pink striped bags, which therefore means that they will not be smart enough to think of ways to escape his ships? What if you’re putting a target on yourself by carrying those shopping bags everywhere?

Don’t carry your crap in VS shopping bags. They’re meant to transport your undies home, not bear your pencils and school supplies through college halls. Be smart. Be safe. Protect yourself and your undies from the VS alien overlord.

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